It's great when a child enjoys learning, completes homework without reminders, and achieves high grades.
But what should parents do when their children adamantly refuse to go to school?
As reported: Сlutch.net.ua
Options include changing the mode of education (such as switching to online or homeschooling), considering transferring the child to a parallel class, or even changing schools.
However, neither option guarantees a solution to the problem.
Educational experts from the online school "Na Urok" advise parents not to ignore the difficulties and hope that things will get better over time.
It is essential to be patient and make every effort to engage the child in learning and overcome the impasse.
Reluctance to go to school: Is it a problem or a whim?
Sometimes it can be very difficult to distinguish genuine reluctance to go to school from a bad mood or tantrums.
What should parents do in such situations? Keep an eye on the child and pay attention to specific signals:
Frequent illnesses. A child who experiences frequent emotional stress and dislikes school tends to fall ill often.
The stressors could be tests, being called to the board, an overloaded schedule, or even the overall school atmosphere. This phenomenon is known as psychosomatics - the influence of psychological factors on the onset and course of illnesses.
Lack of interests. Having hobbies and interests is crucial for a child's development and career orientation.
If your child lacks hobbies and even the desire to engage in activities during free time, it may be a cause for concern. Perhaps they perceive the learning process itself as a tedious obligation that doesn't cater to their needs and interests.
Consistent poor grades. When a child dislikes going to school, their report card is often filled with low grades and notes from teachers. Moreover, they need constant reminders to sit down and do their homework.
Conversations about the future and various reward systems usually fail to spark their interest in learning.
Rejection of school rules. Sometimes a child gets annoyed by almost everything at school: the bell schedule, the school uniform, the need to conform to specific rules in notebooks, and so on.
The school's disciplinary measures begin to weigh heavily on the child, gradually leading them to resent education altogether.
Identifying the cause and taking action
So, you've realized that your child's reluctance to go to school is indeed a problem. It's essential to promptly identify the cause and take action. There can be many reasons behind it!
Conflicts with teachers or classmates: This is one of the most common reasons for not wanting to go to school. Often, the child becomes withdrawn and hesitant to share details about conflicts in the classroom.
What should you do? Ask your child to draw a class plan on paper and draw different lines in different colors to indicate their relationships with classmates - who they get along with, who they feel neutral towards, and whom they fear.
This exercise can help you identify potential risks of conflicts or even bullying. However, remember that it's not an entirely accurate or objective depiction; it's merely how your child perceives their classmates.
If your child tells you about conflicts with other students or teachers, don't rush to the school right away. Start by gathering the facts and objectively assessing the situation.
If it turns out that your child is at fault in the conflict, calmly explain to them why they were wrong. However, it is crucial not to raise your voice, be rude, or resort to punishment.
If you decide to talk to the teacher about the issue, avoid escalating the situation with emotions; instead, take a neutral stance.
When it comes to conflicts between children, make sure the teacher is aware of your standpoint. Often, after peaceful conversations, the problem dissipates.
Overwhelming curriculum: Excessive academic workload can prevent a child from showcasing their abilities, significantly lowering their self-esteem.
Trying to turn your child into a mathematical genius when their aptitude lies in the humanities is not advisable! Large amounts of homework can also sour their perception of school.
What can you do? Encourage your child to first complete written assignments for the subjects they enjoy the most and take breaks for play or relaxation.
Family issues: Reluctance to go to school can stem from problems within the family. It could be parental divorce, jealousy towards younger siblings, or insufficient attention given to the child, among other things.
It is essential to set aside time for your child and show a genuine interest in their life. If your child is experiencing deep psychological trauma, it may be necessary to seek assistance from a school or family psychologist.
Remember, each child is unique, and the reasons behind their reluctance to go to school can vary. It's important to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and open communication.
Working together with your child, teachers, and professionals, you can help them overcome these challenges and foster a positive attitude towards education.
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